I’m on a tear about this, so y’all get to hear about it, too.
I had an abortion. Thirteen years ago now.
I got pregnant at 21. I was, at the time, taking the first medication for bipolar that had ever actually helped more than it hurt. Since I was so depressed as to be frequently suicidal, this was a good thing. Unfortunately, the medication was a pretty serious teratogen — it caused severe birth defects. No doctor would allow me to stay on it while pregnant. My choices were go off the meds and probably kill myself (especially as the pregnancy was making me far more depressed) before I could find anything else I could take while pregnant that actually worked for me (there wasn’t much available at the time, and I have bad reactions to a lot of things), or have an abortion. Doing anything that made it more likely that I killed myself was not an option. I had shit to do.
So I had an abortion. It was the right choice for me. I’m glad I did it. It is a good thing. I have never had a moment of regret or shame over it. I regret getting pregnant at that point, and that was a terrible thing in my life. My abortion saved me from that terrible thing, and saved my life.
I think that abortion in general is a good thing, in the same way that I think heart surgery and brain surgery and indeed most kinds of surgery are a good thing. Medical procedures that save lives and alleviate pain are good things.
I am pro-abortion. I am pro-abortion on demand, for anyone, whenever and whyever they want it. Abortion should be available and accessible to everyone, and I will fight for that my whole life.
And I am sick and fucking tired of people saying I don’t exist. I am sick and fucking tired of people saying that there are no women who are happy they had an abortion. I am happy I had an abortion. I am sick and fucking tired of people saying that no one thinks abortion is a good thing. I think it abortion is a good thing. I am sick and fucking tired of people saying no one is pro-abortion. I am pro-abortion.
I am particularly sick of pro-choice people saying it. It is capitulation to the anti-choice viewpoint, the view that abortion is bad. Saying it’s a necessary evil is not actually supportive of abortion, abortion providers, or people who need or have had abortions. It is not supportive of the ability of people to make that choice. It is not pro-choice.
And anyone who says that there is no one who is happy about their abortion, no one who thinks abortion is good, no one who is pro-abortion simply isn’t paying attention. We are here. We are telling our stories, as loudly and as often as we can. People who say that shit simply aren’t listening, and aren’t looking anywhere outside their own little echo chambers of people who say the same things.
There is a whole damn website full of stories of people who have good experiences with abortion. It’s called I’m Not Sorry. My story is up there, the long version with the morning sickness in. And it’s not the only place to find them.
If you have never heard that there are people who are glad they had an abortion, now you know better. Don’t say that shit. And go educate yourself.
[Not: Not gonna accept any anti-choice bullshit any more than I accept any fat-hate bullshit.]